It's really interesting....when I pick up my mobile and see that it’s time for a software update, I don’t really think twice about it. I bet you’re the same way?! We all know that in order for our mobiles to operate to the best of their ability, they have to have the latest software update.
This update will often fix some bugs that were slowing things down, or improve usability. Whatever it is, the updates are important. The developers learn from feedback and constant monitoring, and from what us users want, and they make adjustments.
We’ll usually make a software update without a second thought, but when it comes to our mindset, some of us have never updated it our whole lives!
Most of the people who come to me trying to lose weight are most often dealing with a mindset issue. The weight is not the primary issue; it’s the way they think about the weight that is the stumbling block.
Fix the mindset, and the weight will start to come off.
So, is it time for a mindset update? If so, here's what you could do:
First : Understand the Block
If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to lose weight for a while, there’s something going on that you may not be able to see, or maybe something you are ignoring? Once you can clearly see what’s holding you back and identify the real issue, that is your first important step to changing your mindset. Self-awareness is a real skill.
The only reason anyone would sabotage their own success is because they unconsciously associate some sort of downside to achieving their goal. If you knew that losing 10 KG would put you in a better mood, boost your energy, improve your sex life, extend your lifespan as well as your health span, and reduce the amount of medications you'll need to take in the future, you’d do it!
Saying that, you do likely already know these things, but the weight hasn’t shifted at all. There’s probably one of these unconscious blocks getting in your way.
So, shall we have a bit of a look at one of the key aspects of what we call 'Decisional Balance?'
Exercise: Write down your goal / what you want to achieve. Then write down the negative consequences of achieving this.
For example, let’s say your goal is to lose 10 KG. Negative associations could be (from examples I've heard some people give in the past:
...I’ll have to buy new clothes and that's expensive.
...My sister will get jealous and it could cause tension.
...My husband will be worried that other men may find me more attractive. He says he likes me the way I am.
...My best friend who loves sharing a bottle of wine and tub of ice cream will find me boring if I don't want to do that anymore.
...I’ll need to go to the gym, and that’s embarrassing.
...I won’t be able to eat 15 After Eights every night.
...My family might get angry about making them healthier meals.
Write down yours now.
Second : Focus on the biggest potential issues
Now you have your list of possible downsides, take a look at the list, and circle the three things that stand out to you the most. It may get a little emotional, and that’s okay. In fact, if you do get emotional, you know you’ve hit the nail on the head.
Sit with these three things for a while. I like to go for a walk when I need to really think something over. Let it just sink in a bit.
Now the question becomes this: are these three drawbacks bad enough that you’d rather live a lifetime of feeling unhealthy, having low energy or being overweight than deal with them?
Third : Understand why the weight itself is not the problem
When you’re able to deeply connect with the three downsides you’ve circled, you might start to understand that the weight is not the problem. The extra weight is often a symptom of something else.
As one person mentioned, “Even if I lose the weight it won’t fix my relationship.” That is so true! If you’re dealing with a tough time in your partnership or marriage, or any relationship, for that matter, losing weight will not fix the issue. In fact, it might exacerbate it.
When you understand that the weight isn’t the problem, you can look at the actual issue that is causing you to sabotage your success. Maybe it’s a challenge in your marriage, maybe it’s difficulty with children, or work, or not managing stress very well, or something else. It’s time to look more closely at these relationships.
The point of the exercise is to highlight areas where you may be holding yourself back. When you can see the negatives that might come hand in hand with your success, you can see opportunities to make a different choice. When you see the opportunities to make a different choice, you can take actions that will change your life. Self-awareness is a key to success!
Fourth : Get support
Support is key. If you have significant difficulties that you are struggling to deal with, which are having a profound impact on your mental health, then you may find some specialist help to be the most beneficial, e.g. with a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist etc.
However, if you feel you need support with working through decisional balance, identifying these potential blocks, and then support and guidance in making healthy lifestyle changes (e.g. to sleep, diet, self-care, stress management and much more) then recruiting a health coach could be a great option for you. Take your time, work on small steps with support and accountability, and you will get there.
I love working with people who are serious about changing their lives and creating the lifestyle they’ve been dreaming about, so if you're ready to get started then please don't hesitate to contact me or book in a free chat (no obligation at all).
Please note: This article is intended to be for educational purposes only, and does not constitute medical advice or replace professional assessment or personalised advice.
I do not hold responsibility for the information on any links to external websites within this article and information within these links/websites may change at any time or no longer be accessible. Any website pages/links added are also for education purposes only.